


Biggest House in the Leaf

by sidewinder566



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Good Orochimaru (Naruto), Hokage Orochimaru (Naruto), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder566/pseuds/sidewinder566
Summary: Sakumo blames his wife and Jiraiya for the current state of his house. Yes Hatakes love having big packs, but 27 kids is too much. Especially since they seem to never be moving out. Then again he wouldn't have it any other way. A story in which Orochimaru decides if her husband wants to regain his honor he can do so by raising clanless shinobi children.
Relationships: Hatake Sakumo/Orochimaru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 211





	Biggest House in the Leaf

Forty three year old Sakumo Hatake blinked awake slowly. He didn't know if the rays of early morning sneaking past the curtain was what woke him, or the three mostly suppressed chakra signatures slipping into their bedroom woke him.

"It would appear three of our sons have returned," whispered his wife from where she lay beside him.

"Means everyone is home. That's rare," commented Sakumo.

"It won't last. Nagato is leading a team out of the village today for a B Rank escort around noon. Guren and Hanako have patrol for the next few days. Guy is running to Kiri tomorrow to deliver a possible treaty and he's taking Yahiko with him. And you are leaving for Suna today yourself," responded Orochimaru.

" Well Lady Fourth, what about the three that just came back? " asked Sakumo.

"Home for at least a week. Possibly two," said Orochimaru.

"Shower with me?" asked Sakumo, hopeful.

"Not today. I'd prefer more sleep," answered Orochimaru. Sakumo kissed his wife's cheek and padded to the bathroom to take his shower before he started cooking breakfast for his overly large pack.

He and Orochimaru had had Kakashi, their only biological child, when they were somewhat young. Then a wound to her chest had rendered Orochimaru infertile, despite Tsunade's efforts. That coupled with a important mission ending in failure had driven Sakumo to think about suicide. Before he could act on it, his wife returned home arguing with Jiraiya about how you do not leave three kids in a war zone to fend for themselves and she was keeping the three orphans because what did toad smelling perverts know about child raising? That's how they got Yahiko, Nagato, and Konan. Sakumo found a homeless child wandering around the village a few weeks later and he took him home. That's how they adopted Genma Shiranui. Orochimaru came home from the labs one day, announced the two babies she had were named Tenzo and Hanako, and they were staying. Konan was delighted at having a new little sister. Sakumo was not delighted that his wife had not mentioned that Hanako and Tenzo had wood release. The kids thought it was awesome.

Then the Third Shinobi War hit. Orochimaru brought home Kabuto, Kimimaro, and Guren. Sakumo brought home Anko and Genma brought home Guy. Kakashi had hid for a week and only came out because his sensei had put him forth to be a jonin. Sakumo nor Orochimaru had been happy about it. Kannabi Bridge happened and Tsunade and Orochimaru had worked with Sakumo's student, Mikoto Uchiha, to mend the Sharingan transplant Kakashi had gotten so he could turn it off and on at will. Orochimaru had stormed into her teacher's office and demanded her sensei send Namikaze to Kumo and her to Iwa. He agreed and with the help of Manda and Tsunade all but wiped out Iwa's forces. She arrived from the front lines against Iwa just as Sakumo arrived back from Suna. They were informed that Rin Nohara had been captured by Kiri nin and that Kakashi had went after her. Sakumo and Orochimaru arrived in time to save their son, but not his teammate. It took all of their kids, Kushina, and Tsunade as well as Sakumo to keep Orocbimaru from maiming Minato. She demanded to know how supposedly the fastest person alive seemed to be just too slow when it mattered. 

Finally the war ended and Orochimaru was named Fourth Hokage. Orochimaru took in Shin and Sai and started an investigation against Danzo. She raised the age of academy graduation to twelve, with no exceptions. Sakumo was content with his life. Then the nine tailed fox got free of Kushina's seal. Sakumo had came very close to panicking. All of his pack, his family was in the village and he couldn't find any of them. It was the longest night in his life as he and several other jonin directed the civilians to the shelters, trying to ignore the fox's horrendous chakra bearing down on them. Then it was over and he immediately went to where he felt his wife's chakra signature. He found her clutching a blonde haired baby to her chest as Tsunade and Jiraiya covered the bodies of the baby boy's parents, silent tears on all their faces. Sakumo and Orochimaru took the baby, Naruto, to their home that was undamaged because of seals Orochimaru and Kushina had placed on it. There they found all of their children, some new, all piled together in the living room, the older kids holding the younger ones close. That night they gained not only Naruto, but Iruka, Kotetso, Izumo, Tayuya, and Tenten as well. Sakumo threatened to retire and become a farmer. Tenzo and Hanako started a huge garden and orchard. Sakumo gave up and a second story was built onto the house to accommodate their growing family. The kitchen was expanded as well. 

Orochimaru made a speech after the nine tailed fox attack. She said that Minato and Kushina had so much faith and love for their son that they entrusted the nine tailed fox to him. Naruto Namikaze was a hero for holding the fox and saving the village at less than one day old. Orochimaru told Sakumo that if anyone called her youngest son a monster she'd feed them to Manda. She also told Sakumo she was afraid Danzo would try to kidnap Naruto. She was right.

Right before Naruto turned nine months old, Root came for Naruto. Unfortunately for Root, Sai, who shared the bedroom with Naruto, flared his chakra like his older siblings showed him to when he heard his window open. Also unfortunately for Root, everyone was home. Kakashi, Genma, and Tenzo, who had the bedroom to the left of the younger boys responded first, immediately and violently. Yahiko, Nagato, and Guy, who had the room to the right responded next. Orochimaru and Sakumo attacked from the outside, while Hanako, Konan, and Anko, who had the last bedroom on the ground floor by their parents, removed Sai and Naruto from the bedroom. Hanako and Konan gathered the younger kids into their parents' bedroom and blocked the door and windows with paper and wood while Anko guarded the kids, who were on the bed. Anko shared a smile with the other girls as she heard Kabuto, Guren, Kimimaro, Shin, Iruka, Kotetso, and Izumo start cheering from the second story as Root fell. Orochimaru, taking stock of her husband's and children's injuries, though all minor, lost her temper for the first time since she massacred Iwa. The next day it was announced that Danzo had been executed during the night for attacking the hokage. All of the major clans regained many of their missing clan members. Orochimaru brought home three daughters that week: Yukimi, Kin, and Karin. Sakumo thought their family was complete.

Then three weeks ago Fugaku Uchiha went mad and slaughtered all the Uchiha except for four who were lucky enough not to be in the compound. When the village alarms went off Sakumo had been home with just a few of their kids. He sent his wolves out to find the others. It had been an ANBU masked Genma who relayed him the news as Genma, Tenzo, and Kakashi went after a fleeing Fugaku. Shisui, Itachi, Izumi, and Sasuke joined the pack that night.

Sakumo turned off the shower and quit his reminiscing as he got dressed. He had just pulled on his pants and shirt when he heard the first, of many, arguments break out upstairs. Orochimaru groaned as she stumbled into the bathroom.

"Can't we have one peaceful morning?" asked Orochimaru.

" With this huge bunch? No. If it makes you feel better all of the Inuzuka live under one roof, " said Sakumo, kissing his wife's cheek as she started to brush her teeth. A thud echoed from up stairs. Orochimaru sighed. 

"And all the sensible children stay down stairs," muttered Orochimaru. Sakumo laughed.

" Anko, Yahiko, Guren, and Guy stay down here. You saying they are sensible? " asked Sakumo.

"No. I'm saying Genma, Nagato, Konan, and Hanako are," said Orochimaru.

"I don't see how any of us are still sane," said Sakumo.

" Who says we are? " laughed Orochimaru as she started a shower for herself. Sakumo grinned and left her to start breakfast. He passed Nagato and Konan who were sitting on one of the couches in the living room preparing their mission packs and sharpening their weapons. 

"Yahiko, Guy, and Anko are doing their morning run," said Konan as Sakumo entered the kitchen. Genma was leaning against the counter , glaring at the coffee pot to hurry it up. 

"Anything?" asked Sakumo as he started pulling out pots and pans.

" Lost it in Ame. Kashi is pissed, " said Genma. Sakumo swore under his breath. He started up one stove. Hanako appeared and started the second one up.

"Morning," she said to those present . They all returned the greeting. A wet haired Kakashi was the next to appear, sliding quietly into a chair at the table. Kotetso came running down the stairs, Iruka hot on his heels with Izumo right behind him.

"Ko I swear if you don't give me my lesson plans right now...." growled Iruka as he chased Kotetsu through the living room. Nagato and Konan dodged as needed , used to the chaos. Guren emerged from her bedroom and stormed up the stairs without even acknowledging the chase in the living room.

"Tayuya and Kin can't you kill Kabuto quieter?" yelled Guren as she made her way up stairs. Shin and Kimimaro slipped past the fuming Guren. Karin and Tenten were right behind them. Naruto came running down the stairs and launched himself at Kakashi as soon as he saw him. 

"Kashi you're back!" exclaimed the blond, climbing into the older boy's lap. 

"So I am Naru," responded Kakashi.

" Sasuke! This is Kakashi and that's Genma! They are awesome! " said Naruto, pointing at Kakashi and Genma as Sai and Sasuke sat down at the table.

"Hi," said Genma as he poured a cup of coffee for himself.

" Yeah hi. You're Itachi's brother yeah? " asked Kakashi.

"He is," answered Itachi as he and Shisui entered the room.

"Should someone help him?" asked Shisui, pointing at Iruka and Kotetso . Izumo slipped into a chair at the table as another bedroom door opened.

"No. Not worth the effort or the payback," answered Genma. Suddenly Kotetso tripped over the suddenly uneven floor. Tenzo stepped over him and headed for the coffee pot.

"You need to observe your surroundings more," called Tenzo over his shoulder. Yukimi and Izumi entered the kitchen next, Yukimi laughing at Kotetso who Iruka was sitting on. Konan and Nagato finished with their packs and started to set the table. Guren came back down the stairs dragging Kabuto by his ear and Kin in the other. Tayuya walked very slowly behind her. Guren finally released them and headed for the coffee pot. Tenzo poured her a cup, then started making another pot and started the tea kettle. Sakumo and Hanako started moving food from the stoves to the table as the rest of the household entered the kitchen. Guy led a very sweaty Anko and Yahiko to the table as Orochimaru poured herself some tea.

"Morning announcements! Nagato and I are both leaving this afternoon for missions. Guren, Hanako, Guy, and Yahiko are also leaving this week. That means Genma is in charge of the house till I get back, but Kakashi is the designated guardian for academy problems and hospital incidents. Konan you are in charge of grocery shopping and giving out allowances. Iruka you are in charge of bentos for the week. Tenzo you are in charge of supplies for everyone chunnin and up. Shin you are in charge of genin on down. Please put supplies on the lists please. I'm looking at you, Ko," said Sakumo as everyone started eating.

" I do! " said Kotetso.

"Then how did you run out of medical supplies on your last mission?" asked Orochimaru . Koteto mumbled something under his breath.

"Anko check his supplies for him. Sai and Naruto if I hear you two skipped class again you will be doing stamina training with my wolves for a month. Tenten quit threatening the Hyuga boy with weapons in class. Yukimi I'm glad you are getting a better handle on your powers but you are freaking your sensei out by turning into smoke during class," said Sakumo, ignoring the resulting protests.

"Kimimaro you and Itachi have an appointment with Tsunade this afternoon. Do not miss it please. Izumo your last mission report is now two days late. Kabuto quit experimenting with poisons by yourself. It's not healthy. Kakashi if you turn in one more report full of chicken scratch you will regret it," said Orochimaru. Faces and explanations were given but ignored.

"Tenzo, Kakashi and Genma the laundry room is yours this morning. Shisui and Itachi you two may use it tonight. Just please let the house be standing when I get back," said Sakumo as people started finishing their breakfasts.

"I will be late getting home tonight. Hanako and Konan are in charge of dinner. Have a good day my loves. Sakumo and Nagato be careful," said Orochimaru as she stood to leave. She got two nods of agreement. Then she was gone in a swirl of leaves.

"Academy students get your bentos and hit the road," said Anko, earning a smack to the head from Genma.

"Be nice about it," chastised Genma. Sakumo chuckled.

"Whoever doesn't have the academy, team training, assignment, or mission do the dishes. I'll see you in about a week, " said Sakumo. With that he was gone. Hopefully the house would still be in one piece when he got back. He just seriously doubted it.

**Author's Note:**

> Roommates and Ranks- Orochimaru (Hokage) and Sakumo (Jonin)  
> Kakashi (Anbu), Genma (Anbu), and Tenzo (Anbu)  
> Yahiko (Jonin), Nagato (Jonin), and Guy (Special Jonin)  
> Konan (Jonin), Hanako (Jonin), Guren (Special Jonin) and Anko (Special Jonin)  
> Shisui (Jonin) and Itachi (Chunnin)  
> Upstairs- Iruka (Chunnin), Izumo (Chunnin), and Kotetso (Chunnin)  
> Kabuto (Genin) Kimimaro (Genin) and Shin (Genin)  
> Sai (Student) Naruto (Student) and Sasuke (Student)  
> Tayuya (Student), Tenten (Student) and Kin (Student)  
> Yukimi (Student), Karin (Student), and Izumi (Chunnin)
> 
> Ages and changes- Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan are around the same age as Kakashi, which currently is around 21/22. Genma and Guy are around 22/23. Tenzo and Hanako are 18, Iruka, Kotetso, and Izumo are 17. Guren and Anko are 16 and Shisui is 15. Izumi and Itachi are 13. Kimimaro, Shin, and Kabuto are all 12. Yukimi (who I deaged alot) is 10, Tayuya, Tenten, and Kin are 9. Sai, Sasuke, Naruto, and Karin are all 8.
> 
> I'm sorry if that's a lot but I really wanted to do a Cheaper by the Dozen like story and I just couldn't decide who to use so I basically used all of them. Would this be considered crack to you? Let me know what you think.


End file.
